thought toss

The truth is, I can't stop thinking about the way I see myself vs the way others see me. I read blogs, and comments that say such nice things about me and honestly the first thought is that they really dont know me, they are saying nice things about something I did, not who I am. Then I talk to friends who compliment me on the type of person I am, or the type of mother I am, and although those things people say do feel good, I guess I have such low self value that I tell myself they don't really know me, so what they say is only true to them, because thats what they see, its their truth. But I know the real me, the one who only months ago threw cigarette butts on the sidewalk outside. The one who screamed at her daughter last week or the one who spent most of her day on the computer and daydreaming about a concert instead of taking that time to teach her toddler something new. I understand that I am not a terrible person for doing those things we all make bad choices and I am not going to dwell on them, but what do I need to figure out before I will be comfortable with a compliment and really fully accept it? I know I need to work on unconditional love, starting with myself. If I want others to love me for me, I think I should probably do the same.