Honestly what is a mothers role when they are 10?

This morning was purely hell! Both for Gabby and me... She wanted to wear an outfit that was completely crazy... a white skirt with blue flowers on it, a blue tank of the same blue, a black mini jacket with short sleves that has white skulls and pink bows, black leggins and tennishoes... and... they were dirty! I told her she wasnt wearing that to school because it was dirty.:) honestly I am trying to let her have her own style, but other kids are teasing her for it and she doesnt want them picking on her, but she refuses to wear clothes that DONT draw attention to her. She wants her style to reflect her and I think thats great, but she has to be willing to ignore other kids if she feels that way... I realy wish I knew what to do for her! Anyone got any advise on how to let her be her while still teaching her? She said I am controling her life, she wishes i would ignore her(thats what she said!) she said I shouldnt even pay any attention to her. I know its because she sees a lot of parents letting kids do "what ever" as long as they dont have to mess with it, but thats not something i can do... its not who i am...u know, i have an idea an if i do it, ill share it later....