What are we supposed to be doing?

You know, here lately, I have not been feeling inspired to do much. I am totaly excited that my sister is coming in just 2 days, so why am I struggling to be motivated, moved and outwardly show my excitement? I think I am in the midst of a huge transformation and before was the OMG! exciting part of descovering a new way to see things, life...like being born, I have been seeing everything in a new way. Now the newness is wearing off and I have been atempting to make it a practical permanent part of every day of my life. I think with the practicality comes reality and that is often sobering you know?
Like yesterday I was at a gas station and they were packed! There were 2 lines all the way to the door(they have great gas and cigg prices). Any way these 2 ladies were trying to keep up with all the people they had to ring up and thier computers were being slow. Some guy a few people up was asking one of the cashiers why she wasnt being faster... she said" we are going as fast as we can sir" to which he replied "could have fooled me, you dont look like your going as fast as you can!" and walked out in a huff. I felt bad for them... not just because of what happened, but because I have been that guy before... It feels like forever ago, but I know I have spoken to a stranger in such a way before probably many times. its amazing how hazy the memory of such behavior is, it is that hazy because when we are acting that way, what we are focusing on is ourselves, not all those around us. any way, just as that guy was a downer to thier busy day, I wanted to offer a counter to the negative... so I told them I appreciated thier tolerance of people (I say lolerance because she told the guy she was sory and continued to say thank you to others she was speaking with, and she smiled even if it was forced:) and the work they were doing the best they could. You should have seen her smile! It was awesome and more than what it did for her day, it reafirmed for me what my personal responsibility is. You know the people and places around us! Sometimes it feels so small, but realy its not... and I need to remember it, I need to be reminded of it and I need to be alive to it! What we say and do in the course of our day is sooo important! Right down to our ability to wait 10 minutes to pay for something!
Its incredible how things work out! Just expressing my self in this blog is getting me fired up! I feel ready to move, to do something of value and what am I going to do? I am going to make memories with my lil girl. We are going to snuggle in my bed with an endless suply of stories. She is sick and saying "mommy...Im ready for my stories now"... sooo sweet...I wish I could remember snuggling with my mom, or remember her reading me a childrens story... this is an entirely different blog, one I may never write, so have a great day and remember to lift others up, not tear them down!